Dreams

Dreams are the biggest motivation in life. They can give you hope, purpose and sometimes even enlightenment.

Like many, even I dream. And I wonder will be ever come true ? And how to make them come true ?

All these questions remind me of probably my favorite film ever - Nuovo Cinema Paradiso, an Italian film by Giuseppe Tornatore.

A film a magnanimous emotions. It says so many things about life, in a mere 170 minutes. About dreams, love, life, motherhood, success and above all FRIENDSHIP.

It inspires one to go all out for his dreams. It tell that success has its price tag. You won't get it without paying for it. It tells that even the most beautiful love relations are not meant to last, just meant to be cherished. And most of all it defines the meaning of friendship and dreams for me.

Its a film that makes you fall in love with films, life and above all DREAMS !

Love

I feel like talking about love today.
Why love all of a sudden ?
I dunno. Maybe I just want to talk about it. Maybe its because I've seen it around me quite a lot in the last few days. There have been friends who have got into a relationship, then there have been friends who have been ditched and cheated upon, and the there have also been friends who just havn't had the best results with love, even when their loved one loves them a lot !

Okay, okay, I confess am a bit drunk. But, to be really frank, that only helps in honestly telling what I feel about love deep down in my heart.

Love.. well.. I've had my share of relationships in the past. Yes, I've "had". Note the past tense. And apart from relationships there have been girls I've been crazy about.
There was this girl in school, Vidhi, I was damn crazy about. Since the age of 12. I would be damn happy on Sunday night coz the next day would bbe Monday and I knew am gonna see her for the next 5 days . And Friday afternoon, when the school bells rang, I used to be so sad. I would not get to see her the next 2 days. Was that true love ? Maybe, maybe not.
Kept longing for her. She was the kind of popular girl. I was a kind of nerd, geek (I love being that, by the way, that's totally me). She was always surrounded by the so called "cool" boys of the school. I was the topper kinds. Secretly in love with her. I could never tell her. Maybe I never wanted to. Maybe just the feeling of her being friends with me and talking to me and sitting with me on the same bench was enough for me. Years went by, feelings remained feelings.
I remember our sections were changed, and I would just vanish away whenever I would see her in the school corridors. I used to be so nervous. Dunno why ! Was it cuteness ? Well, some girls straight out of mills and boon might think so, but I don't.

5 years later, while collecting the Board exam marksheets, I met a friend of hers. And when I asked about Vidhi's well being, I dunno why she just gave me her number. Maybe she got an idea of the feeling I had had for her since years.

I messaged her that day itself, after mustering up a lot of courage of course. These things don't come easy, you know. Inspite of the fact that I had become a different guy by then (yeah yeah, less geeky and more sporty kinds :P), something connected to your past when comes back to you suddenly, it takes you with it into the past, irrespective of whether you want it or not !

She replied. And now I had realized that, being closed won't work. I have to express what I feel. No matter how many boys might be after her, trying to woo her, am not gonna think about anything, am just gonna be myself and do what I want to.

I did that. Slowly and steadily, she became my friend. Then really, close friend, and then like talking-all-night kind of friend. We talked for hours altogether every night. I had found the new me! I had left behind all the guys waiting in queue for her. It felt kinda great. Okay, I confess, it felt truly awesome. :P

She was those Kajol of DDLJ types. Believing that love happens only once, and that kind of shit. There had been this boy in college she had loved immensely. And he cheated on her for another girl in our school (who by the way is married to another boy now :P. I swear am not kidding). This left a huge dent on her life. And she had DECIDED she won't ever get into a relationship again. Its really stupid if you ask me. Altering your life because of a person who never respected your feelings and emotions. Really stupid it is. I tried to change her a lot but couldn't.

Then the time of reckoning came. I told her about my feelings. I told her how much I loved her and was crazy for her since the age of 12. She denied, as expected, with much harshness. Maybe she wanted to convey her point very clearly (which I already knew even before proposing).

I don't know how it felt. It was supposed to be shattering. But, somehow it wasn't. I was a changed man now. As it is, I always knew her answer.

Life moved on. My belief in love was still the same, just the approach became different. I never went ahead searching for love, just waited for it to happen. And it did, I believe it really did.

Had my share of relationships. Yes, failed relationships. But love was there. From both sides really. Maybe those relationships just weren't meant to last.
But memories do last. And I proudly say I have beautiful memories of my relations with those ladies. Though we don't talk now, but thats just mutual. We still are friends. Stay in touch. I have told every girlfriend that I've had about all relations I had had in the past. So have they. And with honesty comes respect. So, even after relations not working, I've managed to make friends, real friends for life.

I've had my share of flings as well. Few one night stands. Yeah yeah, ONE NIGHT STANDS, what's the big deal ? Are they determiners of one's character ? I certainly don;t think so. One's character is defined by the way they respect other people's feelings and try not to hurt anyone's sentiments. Having a one night stand by saying a girl that "I love you" is totally done by a characterless person. That's never what I did. If I loved someone, I told them that. And if I just want to have sex with someone, I told them just that. Its all mutual. Love and sex are two sides of the same coin. Both the sides together make a coin.

All the episodes, Vidhi, past relationships, friends, life observations have taught me a lot regarding love.
Love is not meant to be searched, or found. It'll reach you if it has to. The more you worry about it, the more impractical you become.
And the day you realize you love someone, you gotta tell it to her, inspite of knowing that there might be hundreds of "hunks" trying to woo her too.
Love doesn't happen just once. It'll happen everytime you feel lonely in your life and you get someone who fills the emptiness in your life. Love can happen any number of times, but inly if you let it come to you.

And most important of all, I learned this thing. Love is meant to cherish for a lifetime. Nothing is meant to last forever, everything including this very life has to come to an end one day. But memories remain forever with you. Even if am not in love right now, I remember the times I've spent with the beautiful ladies that have been with me in my life. That have been my dear friends. That have supported me in dark times. I remember going to bed while hugging them, I remember the sweet share of bodily closeness we've shared. Those are memories, sweet memories I have. And even if I am in love with another woman tomorrow, I'm gonna remember that, and cherish that. Am gonna tell my girl what beautiful and sweet times I've had. Life is not meant to crib. Its meant to keep on loving and keep on striving to achieve your dreams and keep on LOVING ! :)

Love and Let Love.
Dhawal

Some CID fun :P

Well, guys here I post some jokes on the longest running laughter show on Indian Television - CID !!!!

It has all the cliches, with ACP Pradyuman shaking his fingers all the time, saying "Ohhhh", "Wahi tohhh", "Tumhe toh Faansi hogi Faansi", "Abhijeet, PATA LAGAO", and most famous of all : "Daya, Darwaza tod do!".

It has Abhijeet searching for suraag all the time, continously saying the words "Hain ??" and "Myyy Goddd!".

Daya is always breaking doors. And whenever he slaps someone, the culprit lands up in the bureau confessing everything. LOL

Fredricks is the Joker on the show. Cracking poor jokes, but still making us laugh coz welaugh at him, not the jokes :P

Salunkhe, wearing that funny wig on his head, conducting every test with the same chemical. Using Koogle.com to search on the internet. LMAO

Here are some of the jokes, using these characters, written by me. Hope you guys have fun reading them !

CID team reaches a room where a dead body is supposed to be found.

ACP: Dekh kya rahe ho Daya, baar baar bolna padega kya..- Darwaza tod do !

Daya - Sir, main toh crime site pe pahunchte hi darwaza dhoondhta hoon. lekin iss kamre mein toh darwaza hi nahin hai.

Abhijeet: hain ? lagta hai khooni bahut chalaak hai. usse pata tha Daya darwaza todne zaroor aayega. usne bina darwaza ke kamre mein hee laash faenk di.

Fredricks: Sir, ab kya karen ?

ACP: Wapas chalo. iss kamre mein darwaza nahin hai. yeh case humse solve nahi hoga..

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ACP receives the news that Fredricks is having sex with his wife while he is in office.
ACP takes Daya, ABhijeet and Salunkhe with him to his home.

ACP: Abbey Daya, Darwaza tod de !
*thaaaaaaad* Door breaks down.
They find Fredricks and ACP's wife in a compromising position.
Abhijeet: Hainnn ??? MYyyy God !!!
ACP (shaking index finger as usual): Ohhhhhhh !!!!! Kuch toh gadbad hai...
Fredricks: Sir maine kuch nahi kiya.
Daya: Woh toh hame pata hai. Tere bas ka kuch hai bhi nahi.
ACP(frowning and ungliyaan hilaate hue): Jo bhi kiya hoga meri biwi ne hi kiya hoga.
Sach sach batao kya hua tumhaare beech mein.
Abhijeet: Yeh aise nahi maanenge. Main koi suraag dhoondhta hoon.
Salunkhe: Inko meri Forensic lab mein le aao. Sab check karke bata dunga kya-kya kiya inhone.
ACP: Uski zaroorat nahi hai. DAYA !!!!!!!!!!!!
Daya slaps Fredricks in his usual style. Fredricks lands up in bureau confessing everything.
ACP: Tumhe FAANSI hogi FAANSI !

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

KISSA GHANE JUNGLE KA:
Abhijeet: Hain ?? Myyyy Goddd !! Yahan toh door door tak Darwaza hi nahin hai.
ACP(ungliyaan hilaate hue, eyebrows raised): Ohhhhh !!! Kuch toh gadbad hai... Khooni bada chalaak hai. Usne Jungle mein laash faenk di taaki Daya ko Darwaza naa mile.
Daya(like a sad puppy): Mujhe Darwaza chahiye, Darwaza ! :(
Abhijeet(just cant control saying "Hain"): Hain ?? Darwaza chahiye ? Ab tere liye Forrest mein bhi Darwaza lagayoon kya.
Salunkhe: Forensic lab aur Koogle.com ke bina case kaise solve hoga ?
Fredricks: Mujhe darr lag raha hai yahaan. Mujhe apni biwi ke paas jaana hai.
Listening to all this ACP comes in a state of shock and starts shaking his fingers like crazy.
Seeing this everyone asks ACP as to what has happened to him and why the fuck doesn't he stop shaking his fingers.
To this the ACP replies: Arrey case gaya bhaad mein. Daya, Gaadi nikaalo. Abhijeet poore sheher ke har doctor ke paas jao aur PATA LAGAO ki yeh saali meri ungliyon ka ilaaj kahan milega.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The CID team reaches a restaurant.

ACP(ungliyaan yahaan bhi ghoom rahi hain): Yeh restaurant hai toh yahaan khaana bhi zaroor milta hoga. Abhijeet, PATA LAGAO yahaan milta kya-kya hai.
Abhijeet: Khud pata laga le.
Daya(sabse pehle bol pada): 10 aloo ke paranthe makhan maar ke.
Abhijeet: Hainnn ? Myyyy Goddd !!
Daya: Saale yeh sab khaaunga nahi toh Darwaza kya tera baap todega.
Salunkhe: Main toh kissi bhi chemical ke saath 4 roti kha lunga. Haan khoon ki chatni bhi le aana.
ACP: Ohhhh ! Kuch toh gadbad hai.. Aaj Salunkhe Acid ke saath roti nahi kha raha.
Abhijeet: Aaj Suraag dhoondhte hue maine laash ki jeb mein padha laddoo kha liya tha. Mera pet toh full hai.
Fredricks: Sir, main kuch nahi lunga. Aaj biwi ke liye karwa chauth vrat rakha hai.
ACP(ungliyaan zor zor se hilti hui): Mere liye toh bas ek laash le aao.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The CID team reaches Goa.
ACP(ungliyaan ghumaate hue): Ohhhh ! Kuch toh gadbad hai... Beach par
koi bikini babe nahi dikh rahi. Abhijeet, Daya, PATA LAGAO aakhir yeh
bikini babes gayi toh gayi kahaan ?? Poora Goa chaan maaro, isse
poocho, usse poocho, kuch toh zaroor pata chalega.

Meanwhile Daya, is busy roaming topless trying to
show off his iron man body.Some girls recognize him and start teasing
him by saying "Daya, Darwaza tod do". Daya, dejected, wears his shirt.

Abhijeet(seeing some girl in bikini): Hain ??? Myyyy God !!!

ACP(ungliyaan khushi se hilti hui): Ohhhh ! Aakhir bikini mein ladki aa
hi gayi. Salunkhe, Bikini babes khooni ki tarah hoti hain, humse
bachkar jaayengi toh jaayengi kahaan ?

Salunkhe: Woh ladki kise ladke ke saath hai. Koi jaanwar sa ladka.
The bikini babe and her guy come closer now.

Fredricks(crying): Sir, woh ladki toh meri biwi hai ? Kisi aur ke saath :(

ACP(ungliyaan khushi se hilti hui): Kisi aur ke saath nahi, humaare Daya ke saath :P

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ACP(mockingly):Daya,
Darwaza tod do ! hahaha.. ab toh logon ko bhi pata chal gaya kitum
Darwaza todne ke liye hee CID mein rakhe gaye the.

Daya(fuming): Abbey ungli baba, zyaada bola na toh Darwaza nahin teri ungli tod dunga.

Abhijeet: Bhai tod de iski ungli ko. Poore episode mein ungli aise hilaata hai jaise saare suraag yehi dhundh ke laaya ho. Sab kaam toh main karta hoon.

Daya(agitated):Acha, saare kaam tu karta hai? Saale 12 saal Darwaza nahin todta toh tu ek bhi suraag ikattha nahi kar paata.

ACP(ungliyaan
hilaatehue): OHHHHH ! Matlab, maine kuch nahi kiya. 12 saal tumhaare
suraag,aur Daya ke todhe hue Darwaazon se meine hi case solve kiye hain.

Daya(irritated): Abbey chal naa.. ungli hila tu, ungli. Case toh tab solve hota tha jab main accused ko thapad maarta tha.

Fredricks(coming
to the rescue): "Ungli baba, suraag searcher yaa phir darwaza breakerne
kuch kiya ho naa kiya ho. Ek baat toh pakki hai- Kissi bhi episode mein
MAINE KUCH NAHI KIYA " :D :P

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PS: For more funnier shit related to CID, join this group on FB :

http://www.facebook.com/pages/DAYA-Darwaza-Tod-Do/201410279796?ref=ts

PPS: There is some even funnier shit on that page, created by me and my friend Megha. Check that out too !!

Doing what I want !

During all my childhood, I always knew that only one profession exists: ENGINEERING. It wasn't like as if my parents forced things upon me. But the whole impression, the way I was told about career, life and profession, ENGINEERING seemed the only choice.
I remember as a kid, dad used to tease mom (my mom is really possessive about me) - "jab tumhara beta engineering karega toh isse duur kaise reh paogi". LOL
So, all in all, ENGINEERING was something that I didn't choose, it was something that chose me.
It was like I never challenged myself to do anything else in life, ENGINEERING was something I thought I was destined to become and something that was good for my career and future.

Got into ENGINEERING. Computer Sc and Engineering to be precise. I thought I was at a perfect place. But somehow, I never loved what I was doing. But I always ignored it saying "Who loves working??" Got Campus placements (3 of them) at the time of recession. I thought I was doing great. My life was set !!
But then, life has its funny ways of telling you that no matter what you do, you can never be set.

After the Campus placements, MBA was the way it seemed (yes yes, another cliche, I know. And even this time, it wasn't me who wanted to do an MBA. But it was the NORM. After B.Tech you gotta do an MBA to have a six figure salary and work in an MNC!).
Prepared hard (but not hard enough coz when you do something which doesnt come out of your heart, you can never give your 100%). CAT arrived, and how. Left me completely shattered. I had messed up big time. Was doing decently well at the mock CATs conducted by leading CAT coaching schools in India. Was definitely hoping to make it to the top 20 B-schools of India, if not the IIMs. But after CAT, I was devastated. Something inside struck me so hard. And that something, somehow wasn't exactly CAT.
It was probably the feeling of "What am I doing with my life?". Gave all other B-school entrance just because I had PAID for them. I had decided I was gonna do what I WANT to do.

Had always loved films, stories. Right since the time when my nani used to tell me stories at bedtime to this very day, stories in any form (listening to or telling) have fascinated me. When college began, I was 17. Would have seen not more than 20 films in my first 17 years of life. The next 4 was goin to change it all. In the next 4 years at the Engineering school, I must have ended up seeing a total of 1000-1200 films !
Deep inside, I guess I always knew what I wanted to do. But it just never surfaced or I was too full of preconceived notions about career and life to take note of it.

After CAT debacle, I sat myself down. Talked to myself for days altogether and I KNEW what I WANTED to do. I wanted to tell stories. To make films. I don't know how successful I'd be. There's a lot of struggle. ANd I have no experience or contacts in the industry. But, I have undying spirit and unnerving passion to do what I want to do.
So, here I am, after having declined all the jobs at so-called big IT companies, and doing the stuff I WANT to do. I don't think about success or failure. Am just HAPPY doing what I want to and giving it the best shot. Kick ass baby ! ;)

Better late than never

Well. Its been over an year since I updated my blog. Quite a lot of reasons really.
One, I mostly wanted to use the blog for publishing some of my poetry that I write whenever I wish to. But then most of my poetry is very personal, which I just keep to myself.
Secondly, I just wasn't feeling inspired enough to blog.
How did I come over the second reason ?
Hmmm.. There's this friend whose blog I'd been following since last few days. Really like the stuff she writes. Transported me into another world, into her world to be honest. And through her blog I started browsing the blogs of people who were following her and of those whose blogs she was following. It was so soothing to see people write about their feelings and experiences. Its quite amazing to see the power of words and expression, and how Blogging has emerged as a strong tool towards empowering the same.
So, all this put together, inspired me to Blog ! And this time its not gonna be just poetry. ;)