Doing what I want !

During all my childhood, I always knew that only one profession exists: ENGINEERING. It wasn't like as if my parents forced things upon me. But the whole impression, the way I was told about career, life and profession, ENGINEERING seemed the only choice.
I remember as a kid, dad used to tease mom (my mom is really possessive about me) - "jab tumhara beta engineering karega toh isse duur kaise reh paogi". LOL
So, all in all, ENGINEERING was something that I didn't choose, it was something that chose me.
It was like I never challenged myself to do anything else in life, ENGINEERING was something I thought I was destined to become and something that was good for my career and future.

Got into ENGINEERING. Computer Sc and Engineering to be precise. I thought I was at a perfect place. But somehow, I never loved what I was doing. But I always ignored it saying "Who loves working??" Got Campus placements (3 of them) at the time of recession. I thought I was doing great. My life was set !!
But then, life has its funny ways of telling you that no matter what you do, you can never be set.

After the Campus placements, MBA was the way it seemed (yes yes, another cliche, I know. And even this time, it wasn't me who wanted to do an MBA. But it was the NORM. After B.Tech you gotta do an MBA to have a six figure salary and work in an MNC!).
Prepared hard (but not hard enough coz when you do something which doesnt come out of your heart, you can never give your 100%). CAT arrived, and how. Left me completely shattered. I had messed up big time. Was doing decently well at the mock CATs conducted by leading CAT coaching schools in India. Was definitely hoping to make it to the top 20 B-schools of India, if not the IIMs. But after CAT, I was devastated. Something inside struck me so hard. And that something, somehow wasn't exactly CAT.
It was probably the feeling of "What am I doing with my life?". Gave all other B-school entrance just because I had PAID for them. I had decided I was gonna do what I WANT to do.

Had always loved films, stories. Right since the time when my nani used to tell me stories at bedtime to this very day, stories in any form (listening to or telling) have fascinated me. When college began, I was 17. Would have seen not more than 20 films in my first 17 years of life. The next 4 was goin to change it all. In the next 4 years at the Engineering school, I must have ended up seeing a total of 1000-1200 films !
Deep inside, I guess I always knew what I wanted to do. But it just never surfaced or I was too full of preconceived notions about career and life to take note of it.

After CAT debacle, I sat myself down. Talked to myself for days altogether and I KNEW what I WANTED to do. I wanted to tell stories. To make films. I don't know how successful I'd be. There's a lot of struggle. ANd I have no experience or contacts in the industry. But, I have undying spirit and unnerving passion to do what I want to do.
So, here I am, after having declined all the jobs at so-called big IT companies, and doing the stuff I WANT to do. I don't think about success or failure. Am just HAPPY doing what I want to and giving it the best shot. Kick ass baby ! ;)